May 12, 2008...6:32 pm
Obama Cabinet Picks
Now that the Obama presidency is all but inevitable, he needs to get a head start picking his cabinet. I am not speculating on the Vice Presidential position yet, but Bill Richardson, I would not hold my breath. It won’t be Hillary Clinton.
Here are my bets for the cabinet:
Secretary of State: Fareed Zakaria (Madeleine Albright is just too much like Hillary, even though Hillary is no Madeleine Albright.)
Zakaria was the managing editor of Foreign Affairs, the widely-circulated journal of international politics and economics. He is the author of several books, including The Future of Freedom, which was a New York Times bestseller and has been translated into 20 languages. His new book, The Post American World, is being published in May 2008.
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Energy: He’ll ask Al Gore, because Obama is just arrogant enough to think a former Vice President of the United States and Nobel Laureate will want to work for him. But in the end, he’ll save us all money and just let us use the Internet Energy Expert at www.plantservices.com/voices/energy_expert.html
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Agriculture: Shawn Krull, 35, is a fifth-generation family farmer who asked Obama for an assurance that if he and his dad and his brother buy 10,000 hogs, Obama won’t pass any new regulations on them. This is to make sure there is a bi-partisan cabinet member and Krull has voted for Republicans in the past. http://www.suntimes.com/news/politics/obama/927567,CST-NWS-campweb02.article
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Labor: Obama Girl (Amber Lee Ettinger) the #1 Hottest Woman on the Internet. Check us out at our new home: This is to stave off any fear that Obama is a Marxist and reaffirm that he is instead a Sexist.
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Interior: Jan Galanti, of Red Bank, NJ. She saved 11 kids from a bear attack or something and appeared on the front page of the New York Times the same day as Obama did. He needs to have a woman in the cabinet and Jan is just the kind of outdoorsy gal who can handle Interior but not get in cat fights with Labor Secretary Amber Lee Ettinger.
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Housing and Urban Development: Tony Rezko, who has a lot of experience with slum dwelling and real estate transactions. Need we elaborate? http://rezkowatch.blogspot.com
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Health and Human Services: Dr. Quentin Young, Obama’s very own doctor. ‘Nuff said.
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Defense: Sam Nunn, Former Georgia senator, who toyed with the concept of a non-partisan run for president last year, has come down on the side of Barack Obama in the Democratic race for president. The former senator, considered one of the nation’s preeminent experts on U.S. defense, met with Obama’s foreign policy team on April 18, 2008. http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/shared-blogs/ajc/politicalinsider/entries/2008/04/18/sam_nunn_lines_up_behind_barac.html
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Treasury: Tom Hanks, a really likable actor who likes Barack Obama, can have this easy post. All he has to do is sign newly minted money. There will be a new Obama bazillion bill which will be used to pay off the national debt.
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Attorney General: Bob Bauer, Obama’s chief counsel and blogger. Obama is saving Prof. Larry Tribe for the US Supreme Court.
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Homeland Security: Louis Farrakhan, leader, Nation of Islam (he is not a Muslim!). Let’s face it, this guy is seriously tough. I don’t think we need to discuss this further.
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Veterans Affairs: John McCain. Well, he’s a veteran. Maybe the only one Obama knows.
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Commerce: Pingpong entrepreneur Robert Blackwell, Jr. He has experience getting grants from the State of Illinois and obviously knows how to make a buck investing in Chinese-type things.
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Transportation: Motorcyclist Timothy Emerson, 41, of Iowa Falls, who was involved in a crash with a campaign van carrying Michelle Obama. He was cited, but this way, he won’t sue. This is how they do it in Chicago. You gotta problem? www.swamppolitics.com/news/politics/ blog/2007/10/motorcyclist_in_michelle_obama
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Education: William Ayers, Professor, University of Illinois-Chicago Circle
Department of Curriculum & Instruction
Ayers, W.C., Bernadine Dohrn, Jeff Jones (2006), eds. Sing A Battle Song: The Revolutionary Poetry, Statements, and Communiques of the Weather Underground 1970-74. New York: Seven Stories Press.
EDUCATION
1987 - Ed.D, Columbia University, Curriculum & Instruction
1987 - M.Ed, Teachers College, Columbia University, Early Childhood Education
1984 - M.Ed, Bank Street College, Early Childhood Education
1968 - B.A., University of Michigan, American Studies
See www.billayers.org.
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Please feel free to contribute your thoughts on the cabinet post nominations or suggest people for necessary government positions like Postmaster General and Surgeon General and National Security Advisor. Obviously this is just the rudimentary stage, and whether these go through depends on lot on how much power Harry Reid retains in the Senate if Obama is elected in November, 2008. Can he get a Democratic Senate? I think Republicans will have no problem with Sam Nunn, but we aren’t sure about the others. I hear a lot of Republicans are psyched by the Obamagirl.
The highly coveted Religious Advisor Position remains open.
9 Comments
May 12, 2008 at 7:24 pm
My favorites are labor, transportation and agriculture. I don’t know how you do that–so right on!
As for postmaster general, I think a good candidate would be anyone from Beverly Hills 90210.
May 12, 2008 at 7:49 pm
I think he’s going to give his wife a cabinet post, just to one-up Bill Clinton. She’s a Harvard Law grad in the health field so I think she might be Sec. of Health.
May 12, 2008 at 8:16 pm
This was hilarious. It is especially funny because so many people feel that Obama is so inexpeirenced that he would think to pick some of these people because he does not know the right ones!!
May 12, 2008 at 11:28 pm
I had to read these carefully to see which ones you were kidding about.
Seriously, when you look at William Ayers’ credentials, you could think this guy might be Sec. of Education, but then the word TERRORIST is left off the resume.
May 13, 2008 at 12:07 am
Rumor has it that Obama is hoping to appoint cross-party figures to his cabinet such as Chuck Hagel, the Republican senator for Nebraska and an opponent of the Iraq war, and Richard Lugar, Republican foreign policy guy. It’s worse than I thought. I would way rather have the Republicans in the cabinet, if there have to be any, in areas like Transportation. I think they know the airline industry pretty well.
May 13, 2008 at 4:10 pm
I think that using Internet sites for cabinet posts is a fantastic idea. It saves us money and is cool. You can just post an avatar and employ some kids on Facebook to answer the questions. For real, tho, don’t you think the best Republican to have in the cabinet is Karl Rove, bc he’s been offering Obama free advice for a long time now and really seems to want in on the action.
May 13, 2008 at 4:36 pm
I am at work and can’t read slowly and yet did not want to wait till tomorrow. While reading I thought that maybe you were again making fun of it all and that the people on your list are your inventions to make insiders giggle and the rest wag their old heads.
May 14, 2008 at 3:25 pm
Cantueso, I had to look up all these people. They are all real, but aside from Rezko, Blackwell and Ayers, probably not that well known. I picked the agriculture guy from an article about Obama and farmers. I am making fun of it all. Hillary is going to be president.
June 12, 2008 at 3:52 pm
I agree that André Action Diakité Jackson is an excellent choice to come aboard if Obama gets elected.
Jackson’s efforts have been underrated in the U.S. to some extent, particularly since he now spends more time outside of the U.S. than inside.
Nevertheless, Jackson has demonstrated a remarkable level of authority over the last decade inside the U.S. House Committee on International Relations, MONUC and the Foreign Relations African Affairs as well as the Global Human Rights & International Operations.
He’s a real “GEM”
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